A sense of Humour

Welcome to the funny page

Need a giggle, a burst of laughter, shake your head by the nonsense of it?

Than this page might be for you.

Keep watching, updated frequently, the more you send in, the more I can add.

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KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old Reese : 'Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.. Amen.'
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A little boy was overheard praying:
'Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am.'
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After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three

times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, 'That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys.'
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One particular four-year-old prayed, 'And forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets..'
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A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they were on the way to church service, 'And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?'
One bright little girl replied, 'Because people are sleeping.'
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A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3 The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. 'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, ' Ryan , you be Jesus !'
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A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull

lay dead in the sand.. 'Daddy, what happened to him?' the son asked. 'He died and went to Heaven,' the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said, 'Did God throw him back down?'
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A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, 'Would you like to say the blessing?'
'I wouldn't know what to say,' the girl replied.. 'Just say what you hear Mommy say,' the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, 'Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?'

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Smart Cat

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home.

At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he

thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Honey, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered,

"Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

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Why We Love Children
1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. 'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently.
'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise. 'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move'

2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later.....'Da-ad.....'
'What?'
'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....'
'WHAT?'
'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'

3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?'
The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's
sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!''

4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked

with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?'
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. 'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.' A long silence was broken at last by

his shaky little voice:'The big sissy.'

5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon.
All the children were invited to come forward.
One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter Dress?'
The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.'

6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!'
I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.'
'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'

7. A little boy was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....'
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'
The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.' 'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked 'Yes,' he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you teaching my son in math?'
The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.'
The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?'
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'

8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken
Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!'
The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?'
One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said:'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!''
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.

9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.'
Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.'
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?'
She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'

10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play with the boys?'
Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough.'
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?'

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Bullshit And Brilliance

A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in  Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company. 

One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading  
rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. 


The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on

the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap the old poodle exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious

leopard!  I wonder if there are any more around here?' 

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew!' says

the leopard, 'That was close! That old poodle nearly had me!' 

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade

it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the old poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something

must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. 

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving 
canine! 

Now, the old poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the

dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old poodle says. 

'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard! 

Moral of this story.... 

Don't mess with old farts .. age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience. 

If you don't send this to five 'old' friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world. 

I am in no way insinuating that any of you are old, some are just more youthfully challenged. 

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The Pope and the Jews

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy.
There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.

He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy ; if the Pope won, they'd have
to convert or leave.
The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate.
However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish or Hebrew, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.
On the chosen day the Pope and Rabbi sat opposite each other.

The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers.

The Rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head.

The Rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine.

The Rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the Rabbi was too clever.

The Jews could stay in Italy

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.
The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity.
He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs.

Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us.
He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right  here with us.

I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins.
He pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin.
He bested me at every move and I could not continue.'

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the Rabbi how he'd won.
I haven't a clue' the Rabbi said.

First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy , so I gave him the finger.

Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.

And then what?' asked a woman. Who knows?' said the Rabbi.

He took out his lunch so I took out mine.'

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Fast car
The doctor took his patient into his office and said, "I have some good news and some bad news." The patient said, "Give me the good news."

The doctor said, "They're going to name a disease after you."

Paul was in trouble. He'd forgotten his wife's birthday.she really lit into him. "IF I don't see something in that driveway tomorrow morning that goes

from zero to 200 in 10 seconds, then you should just NOT BOTHER coming home!"

Chastised, Paul went to bed. He got up very early the next morning and left for work.

When his wife got up later that morning, she saw a gift box with a bow in the driveway. It was certainly too small to be a car.

She brought it in the house to unwrap it and found ... a bathroom scale.

Paul hasn't been seen since that day.

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The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in

my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and

usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that.

And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with

a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there.

He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.

The kids are watching her in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.

'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom

to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed,

like psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then,

all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta)

so there must be a lot of toys inside there.'

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's

show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just t in case another 'Middle Wife' comes along.

Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along to someone else to spread the laughs. I know what I did!!!

Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy!

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TATER PEOPLE

Some people never seem motivated to participate, but are just content to watch while others do the work. They are called "Spec Taters".

Some people never do anything to help, but are gifted at finding fault with the way others do the work. They are called "Comment Taters".

Some people are very bossy and like to tell others what to do, but don't want to soil their own hands. They are called "Dick Taters".

Some people are always looking to cause problems by asking others to agree with them. It is too hot or too cold, too sour or too sweet.
They  are called "Agie Taters".

There are those who say they will help, but somehow just never get around to actually doing the promised help. They are called "Hezzie Taters".

Some people can put up a front and pretend to be someone they are not. They are called "Emma Taters".

Then  there are those who love others and do what they say they will. They are always prepared to stop whatever they are doing and lend a helping hand.

They bring real sunshine into the lives of others. They are called "Sweet  Taters".

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A Papa mole, a Mama mole, and a Baby mole all live together in a little mole hole.

One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said,

'Yum! I smell maple syrup!'

The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said,

'Oh, Yum! I smell honey!'

Now baby mole is trying to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air,
but can't because the bigger moles are in the way.

This makes him whine,

'It's not fair, all I can smell is....

MOLASSES!

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New Recruit                                                 A couple of months into the job        

 You are listening to SEVIE WONDER                        You are listening to HOUSE MUSIC                        
(Your first day at work and all is fine and great)     (After a while you are so busy that you

                                                                                          are not sure if you coming or going anymore)
 

Your team is understaffed 

                           Work           work             work

You are listening to METAL      

The days blur into each other                                         A year in                             And finally: you have been here a year

You are listening to GANGSTA RAP                                      You are listening to TECHNO                         You are listening to HIP HOP

(After more time passes, your eyes                                               and have gone a bit doolaly.                                (You become bloated due to stress,                              

 start to twitch, you forget what a                                                                                                                                     feel sluggish and suffer from constipation)  

"good hair day" feels like as you

just fall out of bed and load up on caffeine!!)

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A thief in  Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre.
After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van.
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could  plan   such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied,

'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.'

 I had no Monet                 to buy Degas                      to make the Van Gogh.'     See if you have De Gaulle                 I sent it to you because

                                                                                                                                                                   to send this on to someone else.  

                                                                                                                                                                    I figured I had nothingToulouse

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Never Argue with a Woman
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.

She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
  MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

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Heaven or Hell?

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill,

it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that

looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he

got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, "Excuse me, where are we?"            "This is Heaven, sir," the man answered.

"Wow! Would you happen to have some water?" the man asked.     "Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right

 The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

"Can my friend," gesturing toward his dog, "come in, too?" the traveler asked. "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets."

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never

been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

"Excuse me!" he called to the man. "Do you have any water?"                  "Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in."

 "How about my friend here?" the traveler gestured to the dog. "There should be a bowl by the pump."

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

"What do you call this place?" the traveler asked.

"This is Heaven," he answered.

 "Well, that's confusing," the traveler said. "The man down the road said that was Heaven, too."

"Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell."

"Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?"

 "No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind."

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Transcendental Meditation

A mouse was sitting under a tree next to a pasture, his little back legs crossed akimbo, and front legs outstretched with paw curled

in tiny circles.                              He emitted a soft drone of, "Ooommm, Ooommm, Ooommm".

After a while, the cow in the pasture decided to inquire about what the mouse was up to, and came over to the tree. "Tell me, mouse,

just what are you doing there?"

"Transcendental Meditation", replied the mouse between "Ooommm's". "I seek to reach a heightened level of spiritual awareness

through a combination of focused contemplation and these repeated vocalizations".

"Is it working for you?", inquired the cow.

"Nothing yet, but I continue to stretch my mind in hopes of success!", asserted the mouse.

The cow started to walk away, thinking to himself how his own ruminations had led to a deep sense of peace and fulfillment.

Then a thought came to him and he turned back to the mouse and said, "Maybe you're saying it backwards!" 

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Ever wonder how a Woman's Brain works?

It's finally explained here in one, easy-to-understand illustration:

Every one of these little blue balls is a thought about something that needs to be done, a decision or a problem that needs to be solved.
A man, of course, has only 2 balls - and they take up all his thoughts.

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Pharmacology
In pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name.

For example, the trade name of tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen, Aleve is also called Naxproxen,

Amoxil is also called Amoxillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.

Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage

suitable for use as a mixer.  It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.  Obviously we can no longer call this a

soft drink and it gives new meaning to the names of 'cocktails', 'highballs', and just a good old-fashioned 'stiff drink'.

Pepsi will market the concoction by the name of MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day:  There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research.

This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection

of what to do with them.

(If you don't send this to at least five old friends right away there will be five fewer people laughing in the world).

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9 Words Women use

(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five

                                 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.  This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing

                        usually end in fine.  

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!    

(5) Loud Sigh:This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an

                           idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.

                           (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay:This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and

                              hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.  

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless

                      she says"Thanks a lot" - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. 

                      DO NOT say "you're welcome", that will bring on a "whatever").

(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying up yours! 

(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times,

                                                            but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?"

                                                            For the woman's response refer to # 3.
 
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

* Send this to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, cause they know it's true 

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JOKE OF THE MONTH
Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work.

The first surgeon said "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on.

You open them up and everything inside is numbered."

The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."

The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything is colour-coded."

The fourth said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable."

The fifth surgeon said, "I like engineers... they always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end."

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Funeral

A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery.

A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind the first.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a pit-bull on a leash. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog.

'I am so sorry for your loss, and I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this with so many of you walking in single file.
Whose funeral is it?'
The man replied, 'Well, the first hearse is for my wife'
'What happened to her?'
The man replied 'My dog attacked and killed her.'
He inquired further, 'Well, who is in the second hearse?'
The man answered 'My Mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her.'
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men.
'Can I borrow the dog?'

'Join the queue'

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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity,

here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On Pick n' Pay's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

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On Clicks Children Cough Medicine-- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)

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On a Woolworths Bread Pudding

"Product will be hot after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

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On a Clicks hair dryer - Do not use while sleeping.

(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

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On a bag of Simba Chips --

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary!

Details inside.

(the shoplifter special?)

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On a bar of Dove soap -

"Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be???....)

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On some Checkers frozen dinners -

"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

(please note that it's just a suggestion.)

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On the packaging of a Rowenta iron -

"Don't iron clothes on body."

(but wouldn't this save me time?)

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On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(..I'm taking this because???....)

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On some brands of Christmas lights of Eastern origin :

"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(As opposed to what?)

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On a Japanese food processor:

"Not to be used for the other use."

(Now, somebody out there, please help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

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Instructions on a SA Airways packet of peanuts -

[1] Open packet;

[2] Eat nuts.

(Step 3: say what?)

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On a child's Superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(Don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

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On Woolworth's Tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom )

"Do not turn upside down."

(well... duh, a bit late, huh!)

==========================

Blessed are the cracked - for it is they who let in the light

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The photographer did a great job of matching up the kids and dogs.

A friend is someone we turn to when our spirits need a lift                      A friend is someone we treasure for our friendship is a gift

A friend is someone who fills our lives with beauty, joy, and grace.            And makes the world we live in a better and happier place.

There is a miracle called friendship, that dwells in the heart.                    You do not know how it happens or when it gets it's start.    
                                                                                                                                             But you know the special lift it always brings  
                          

.

You realize that friendship is the world's most precious gift!

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Bab's Night out

And here some from my friend's site: http://fxgalore.blogspot.com/

This is a picture of Will caught chop lifting at the local butcher's.

"I have nothing in my handbag, honest!"

                      Will as Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

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When your dad is a graphic designer...

We all know that Moms love to dress up their kids. But when Dad is a graphic designer, anything is possible..  

It all started out with the innocent baby picture below...